A man's dreams are an index to his greatness.

A few months back I kept a running diary of my nightly dreams. This only lasted a week because I am a lazy bastard. But the dream I had last night was to good not to share. I stupidly did not write down any notes from my dream as soon as I woke up, so my description will not be the greatest.

I remember I was at a swimming pool with a some teenage girls. They asked me why I was there. I told them I had lost my pet lobster and I was trying to find him. I kept diving underwater to stare at their asses. I would also swim by and poke them in their ass with a stick. They started screaming, but I told them it was not me, but my pet lobster.

I then remember I was locked in a warehouse with a rabid deer which was stalking me. At one point I heard a loud noise come from behind some boxes. It turned out to be my 95 year old grandmother lifting weights. The deer then came charging at me and out of nowhere Jack Nicholson jumped out wearing a dominatrix outfit and started barking at the deer. The deer got scared and ran away. Jack then raped my grandmother while screaming "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

That is all I can remember for now. I briefly recall something about being hit by a car, but I cant remember any of the details. I wish I had written it down, this was a damn good dream.